caitlyn jenners vagina not found on pavement in america.

last week whilst trawling over the drivel that everyone posts on facebook, one of our vegan writers seen a gross picture of a pulled pork roll and was deeply affected by it.  now some people may well think, yum, a pulled pork roll, but not this writer, his tiny little mind thought it looked like an abomination of flesh and gore, which is also how he sometimes imagines caitlyn jenners vagina.

so, in a moment of mania, the writer fired up photoshop, made this and sent it to our editor in chief.

caitlyn jenner pulled pork vagina

we thought it was funny so we published it on our facebook page. a lot of others found it funny too, a few people told us it was in terrible taste (but still funny) , but generally there was not much of a fuss.

little did we know however, that the girl who had actually ate cait’s vagina (the pulled pork sandwich) was in a fit of fuming rage and had started sending us and our writers shocking abusive messages.

stupid womans comments

her grammar was a little difficult to disseminate, but we kind of got the idea and thought best ignore her rather than hurl abuse back at the fanny eating fucktwat.

shutup

her friend paul, who you may know from celebrity juice then got in touch. he was much more reasonable, but by this time the whole thing had taken on a life of it’s own so we photoshopped the vagina onto one of his pictures (can you spot it?)

dropped

yes we know, juvenile toilet humour of the lowest grade pork.  anyway, as a result of “someone complaining” facebook decided to unpublish the page, and because of that we’ve had to go to the hassle of republishing the whole story here.

we hope you enjoy it, especially you lisa.

 

 

why should you always eat your salad?

we know that most people can’t be bothered to read too much anymore, so we’re going to try and get this through to you as easily as possible.

pizza diet

what does this mean to the average pizza eater? well it’s simple, provided you are terrible at maths and believe any old shit you can eat as much of it as you like. so long as you EAT YOUR SALAD

lettuce generates negative fat fields when eat before, during or after pizza. these negative fat fields are similar to a lot of beauty products in that they sound good and give the impression they do pretty rad stuff. placebos have been proven to burn fat faster than exercise in concentration camps.

you’ve been warned.