EXCLUSIVE: Tony Blair exposed as Owen Smiths MUM!!

Up until now there have been no recorded cases of men giving birth, but according to a new book by the Duchess of Kent, Tony Blair actually GAVE BIRTH to that welsh bloke OWEN SMITH through a REAL VAGINA that he has growing out of his head, underneath his hair behind his left ear.

tony blair

In 2014 rather than let investigators check under the hair behind his left ear for the vagina, Tony screamed “I’m not fucking Tony, I’m not going to let any fuckwit check behind my left fucking ear for a fucking vagina ok?, now get the fuck out of here” or words to that effect.

owen smith

Owen Smith doesn’t have time for silly stuff. He’s a serious man, who’s going to build car parks all over the valleys. “We won’t even need to build any roads, it’ll just be wall to wall car parks all the way from Newport to Pontypridd. Even the skater kids will love it. Let me tell you this, everyone will be a winner, together, all of us.”

“It’s a good idea” said local asphalt supplier Bill Darowd. “People need to stop feeling guilty about wanting change. I don’t want to fat shame anyone, but if you’re gonna be honest with people, don’t go hiding your fucking gills”.


fat girl

Owen Smith still refuses to dismiss or even acknowledge rumours he has gills on his tits. “There’s something fishy going on for sure” said local fisherwoman, Fishy McFishbaps. “I’m proud of my size and shape. I smell like fish too, but I’m happy, and I fucking love cake”

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