Donald Trump’s mum to be “punished” for NOT aborting him.

Thousands of pro-life activists woke up to the shock news today that Donald Trump could easily have been aborted. His mother Mary Anne Trump was a hard core lass from a little island next to that Scottish mountain near London, and as anyone who has ever been to London will tell you, those women will fuck anything.


“All the lasses(women) were havin’ abortions back when Donald was born, proper old school coat-hanger stuff it was..” said Jean Willis, who still lives in Scottish Land and claims to have a huge collection of coat-hangers.

“I’ve started a local action group to have his mum punished for not having him aborted. I know she’s dead, but they still managed to get loads of money out of Jimmy Saville after he faked his death, and I do honestly feel damaged by this”


Jean asked us not to mention any of this until she’d got her facebook and twitter pages set up, but we just thought it was too important to not let you guys know now. She also told us not to post this picture, or to tell you that she thinks her husband lets his dog lick his balls.

Ted Cruz is worse.


لا أحد يهتم بعد الآن


a recent survey of people showed that pretty much nobody gives a shit anymore.

  • price of bread? – “don’t give a fuck”
  • president of london? – “are you deaf?”
  • spoke to your mum? – “fuck off”

these are just a few answers. obviously none of them even happened because in reality nobody answered any questions at all. “nobody can even be arsed answering questions anymore” said one guy involved, who then later claimed he never even asked anyone any questions in the first place.

to-7817982-broken-clock.jpg" alt="clock" width="190" height="190" srcset=" 190w, 150w" sizes="(max-width: 190px) 100vw, 190px" />(time is a non-event)

“it’s a total non-event” added his mum, who died 7 years ago waiting for her breakfast in bed.

nobody else was available for comment, probably because nobody cares anymore.