Woman gets really stressed about old news.

A woman got really stressed out today after reading a 15 year old article about a kid getting hit on the head with a floppy disk. The woman (who has since deleted her account and left her husband for not sympathising) threatened to track down the mother of the child and give her “a good fucking kicking”.

floppy disk

It’s not a rare phenomena either, with statistics showing that more and more woman are growing more and more frustrated and angry with more and more “out of date” stories that are clearly totally fucking irrelevant.

Experts believe it may be a side effect of dating sites, where men keep using old photos to entice younger women who use hair dye and cosmetic surgery to entice younger men. This in turn creates a virtual time warp spiral illusion that sucks in dead pets, demolished houses and buried artifacts that whilst no longer relevant, continue to make woman angry.

Gays do not seem to be effected, unless they are transgender, or have just recently become gay.

Keith Vaz said his wife was furious that he hadn’t told her this years ago.

Scientists discover gene that stops women’s shit from stinking

Scientists from the University of Southwick have isolated the gene that stops womens shit from stinking as much as mens. Whilst studying the effect of liposuction and gastric bands on the stomach lining, they discovered a new bacteria that doesn’t exist in the stomach of men due to them being lazy beer drinking, pie munching arseholes.

happy bacteria

“It’s unbelievable”, said Dr Peter Pan who resizes tits and labia for breakfast. “We all know that women’s shit doesn’t stink, but we’ve never understood why, now w

e’ve finally answered the question.”

Sadly tests on men who had also had liposuction and gastric bands showed no evidence of the friendly odour eating bacteria whatsoever. “We’ve had a few metrosexual blokes who don’t eat pies or drink beer give us some bags of shit for testing, but everyone of them fucking stank.” said Peter whilst sitting on a window ledge looking like a girl.

“I guess guys are just assholes” he joked, before falling 20 floors to his death.


fuck off. no you fuck off.

once upon a time someone was totally out of order. nobody could agree on who was out of order, so they just kept telling each other to fuck off. eventually, having had enough, one of them fucked off.

fuck off

don’t be sick whatever you do. and if your baby is sick you’re fucked.

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