whilst lesbians and muslims can do pretty much whatever they want these days, ageism is still rife in the love game. modern love does not get me to the church on time. seriously, what is wrong with rupert and jerry getting it on? here they are a few years ago, we think they look quite cute together.
“modern love walks beside me” – david bowie
“modern love walks on by” – david bowie
bill is free. its good to see these days that white men can get busted for stuff they did do, and black men can get off with stuff they didn’t do. if he had been transgender would the jury have been so easy on him. maybe we will never know.
anyway, congratulations to bill and his team of lawyers. someone did something right. somewhere. once. maybe.
roll up, roll up, the worlds greatest vegan awards are now taking nominations for the “worlds greatest vegan” award organiser louise west says with i smirk, “i mean we all know its really ‘the worlds greatest person award’, obviously if you’re not a vegan you’re never gonna be the greatest. right?”
is she is mental, or is she chicken oriental?
well that’s what she thinks. let us know if you are going to enter.
a lot of people have complained we did not give out the link of the competition. it’s invite only apparently.
“when all else fails, cry” – some bird in oz
apparently the bad men are going to try and take away freedom and stuff, and nobody cares.
if two for one offers are available would you like that?
my friend who writes proper stuff learnt recently about some very important stuff that i already knew. here is a picture of taylor swift to help demonstrate that.
why do people think men age better than women? how come arnold and sly still look as if they are in their mid 20’s whilst even taylor swift is starting to sag already?
apparently the latest terminator film has had sarah conner slated for not looking like she did in the last one. what is wrong with you people?
did you know that blind couples are the happiest couples? neither did i, and i haven’t researched it either but they could well be.
anyway, big up sarah conner, don’t let the terminators drag you down.
“clean that lipstick off your face you slut” said john to his wife whilst swiping through tinder. little did he know that his wife was completely unaware of what was going on.
how was she to know that scientists had discovered that by flipping a lip image 90 degrees in photoshop it would indeed resemble a vagina?
how was she was to know that by colouring them red it replicated the swollen labia of a sexually excited lady?
she spoke to her therapist about it, explaining that having thought about it, her lips looked like a vagina flipped 90 degrees whether she coloured them red or not.
“what about your cleavage?” he asked
“well that certainly doesn’t look like my vagina…” she replied whilst playing with her bow, “…and i don’t paint them red either”
“yes I am very aware of that, but do you know that by showing cleavage you are replicating a ripe bottom?” replied her therapist, before quickly turning her around and showing her how her bottom compared.
“goodness me” exclaimed the woman feeling utterly ashamed of herself. Within three days she became a devout muslim and never showed her tits or painted her lips ever again.
except when she visited her therapist.