“when all else fails, cry” – some bird in oz
apparently the bad men are going to try and take away freedom and stuff, and nobody cares.
if two for one offers are available would you like that?
my friend who writes proper stuff learnt recently about some very important stuff that i already knew. here is a picture of taylor swift to help demonstrate that.
peace.
you loved the cats. we got more emails about the upside down cats than anything else. either you guys love upside down cats, you love cats, or you love upside down things.
here are some upside down chairs.
pretty standard school type
similar to previous. better photo though.
the upside down pink chair is without doubt the best upside down chair.
thanks
for those of you in the know, but not interested in the FBI’s $50 reward, 666casino.com are taking bitcoin bets on who the new jihadi dude is. We asked top tipsters from all across the interweb and they reckon number 5 is a good eachway choice.
gambling can be addictive. if you’re that way inclined you should probably just do something else.
no cats were harmed in our post production of these cat images
whilst many people at this time of the year are reflecting upon a lifetime of mistakes, lets try not to forget those hard working self deserving friends who’s lives are just so amazing it almost floods your lungs with tears of joy.
JEALOUSY GETS YOU NOWHERE
unlike the usual miserable social network dribble we have to sift through, these people brighten up our days to no end letting us all know how amazing their partners, jobs, family, pets etc are.
“so how can i be this happy” i hear you ask. well what are you asking us for? why not just ask your friends yourself. happy successful people who like to share their amazing happy lives on social networks just love imparting advice to those less fortunate. if you are too shy to ask, then why not just post this picture and let them come to you.
good luck, and remember life is what it is, not what you say it is.
why do people think men age better than women? how come arnold and sly still look as if they are in their mid 20’s whilst even taylor swift is starting to sag already?
apparently the latest terminator film has had sarah conner slated for not looking like she did in the last one. what is wrong with you people?
did you know that blind couples are the happiest couples? neither did i, and i haven’t researched it either but they could well be.
anyway, big up sarah conner, don’t let the terminators drag you down.
WARNING: NOT NASTY STUFF AT ALL
when people ask me about white bread the first thing that comes to mind is a sausage roll sandwich, followed quickly by two sausage rolls in a buttered muffin and then a bap and pasty with an onion ring on top.
this is a picture of a sausage roll sandwich.
ingredients
sausage roll (due to some of our more sensitive readers we chose a cruelty free linda mccartney one)
heel of white bread (end bit)
loads of vitalite (margarine, see above about the sensitive people)
red sauce (tomato ketchup)
gluten free recipe not available
people often use the term “never say never”. sometimes they think they are clever by saying it, but rarely do they ever actually consider the notion beyond the lip and breath movements required to say it.
“at the end of the day, never say never” said the idiot
“yes”, now there’s a phrase I can really identify with. one word. one syllable. one direction.
“clean that lipstick off your face you slut” said john to his wife whilst swiping through tinder. little did he know that his wife was completely unaware of what was going on.
how was she to know that scientists had discovered that by flipping a lip image 90 degrees in photoshop it would indeed resemble a vagina?
how was she was to know that by colouring them red it replicated the swollen labia of a sexually excited lady?
she spoke to her therapist about it, explaining that having thought about it, her lips looked like a vagina flipped 90 degrees whether she coloured them red or not.
“what about your cleavage?” he asked
“well that certainly doesn’t look like my vagina…” she replied whilst playing with her bow, “…and i don’t paint them red either”
“yes I am very aware of that, but do you know that by showing cleavage you are replicating a ripe bottom?” replied her therapist, before quickly turning her around and showing her how her bottom compared.
“goodness me” exclaimed the woman feeling utterly ashamed of herself. Within three days she became a devout muslim and never showed her tits or painted her lips ever again.
except when she visited her therapist.
“what do you play, snooker or pool?”
“The first time I met Lemmy was way before hashtags, he was way more cool then..” – Jimmy Hendrix
“The first time I met Lemmy I couldn’t stop looking at his mole.” – Adrian Mole (aged 20)
SOUR GRAPES
I actually did meet Lemmy, it was back in the 80’s. What happened is between me and him. I never even told my mum, or any of my mates.
SMOKING AND DRINKING TOO MUCH IS NOT COOL
Sadly we can’t afford to prove this. Have a nice evening.
