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“clean that lipstick off your face you slut” said john to his wife whilst swiping through tinder. little did he know that his wife was completely unaware of what was going on.
how was she to know that scientists had discovered that by flipping a lip image 90 degrees in photoshop it would indeed resemble a vagina?
how was she was to know that by colouring them red it replicated the swollen labia of a sexually excited lady?
she spoke to her therapist about it, explaining that having thought about it, her lips looked like a vagina flipped 90 degrees whether she coloured them red or not.
“what about your cleavage?” he asked
“well that certainly doesn’t look like my vagina…” she replied whilst playing with her bow, “…and i don’t paint them red either”
“yes I am very aware of that, but do you know that by showing cleavage you are replicating a ripe bottom?” replied her therapist, before quickly turning her around and showing her how her bottom compared.
“goodness me” exclaimed the woman feeling utterly ashamed of herself. Within three days she became a devout muslim and never showed her tits or painted her lips ever again.
except when she visited her therapist.