troll me baby one more time

the funny thing about internet trolling is that it is funny. in a recent poll, 9 out of 10 cats said they loved trolling. or maybe that was prowling. there are however people who have gone to jail for trolling the wrong person.

troll me

who is the wrong person?

a very good question. jason ‘jay’ jage (below) got totally screwed over when he trolled colorado-based timothy bussey’s google maps profile. all he did was troll the fuck out of him.


$50,000 he had to pay, plus expenses. so ask yourself, what is the point? who is the guy in black and white, and why aren’t you doing something useful with your life instead.

>>brighton babylon<<

remember. no trolling.

britney had her fair share too you know.

poor britney

in fact britney has more trolls than there are chinese people in china. think about that for a moment.


they’re here


undercover muslim robots are now everywhere. they have taken over like in that movie invasion of the body snatchers. have a good look at your friends and family. if their eyes are glowing red and you can hear mechanical sounds as they move you need to kill them or get away fast. getting away fast is probably the safest option incase you’re just schizophrenic and they’re not robots at all.

this is ridiculous

killer bots 2


it’s a good idea for a game though. rovio refused to comment, and we couldn’t think of anyone else to ask. “angry muslims” anyone?

did jesus kill lemmy?

so it turns out lemmy did a milk advert before he died. well as most vegans know, jesus was a vegan, and whispers are rife that he may have killed lemmy because of his decision to do the advert.

lemmys balls suck no more

we’ve received a few emails about it.

“if lemmy hadn’t done that milk advert maybe jesus would have saved the useless cunt?” – bob@****.com

“its funny, ha ha” – rik@****.com


it wouldn’t be the first time jesus has stepped in to fight the vegan cause. naturally being a modest dude he doesn’t like to brag about it.


for those of you in the know, but not interested in the FBI’s $50 reward, are taking bitcoin bets on who the new jihadi dude is. We asked top tipsters from all across the interweb and they reckon number 5 is a good eachway choice.


gambling can be addictive. if you’re that way inclined you should probably just do something else.

never* (ever say ever)


people often use the term “never say never”. sometimes they think they are clever by saying it, but rarely do they ever actually consider the notion beyond the lip and breath movements required to say it.

“at the end of the day, never say never” said the idiot


“yes”, now there’s a phrase I can really identify with. one word. one syllable. one direction.



vagina lipstick

“clean that lipstick off your face you slut” said john to his wife whilst swiping through tinder. little did he know that his wife was completely unaware of what was going on.

how was she to know that scientists had discovered that by flipping a lip image 90 degrees in photoshop it would indeed resemble a vagina?

how was she was to know that by colouring them red it replicated the swollen labia of a sexually excited lady?


she spoke to her therapist about it, explaining that having thought about it, her lips looked like a vagina flipped 90 degrees whether she coloured them red or not.

“what about your cleavage?” he asked


“well that certainly doesn’t look like my vagina…” she replied whilst playing with her bow, “…and i don’t paint them red either”

“yes I am very aware of that, but do you know that by showing cleavage you are replicating a ripe bottom?” replied her therapist, before quickly turning her around and showing her how her bottom compared.


“goodness me” exclaimed the woman feeling utterly ashamed of herself. Within three days she became a devout muslim and never showed her tits or painted her lips ever again.


except when she visited her therapist.

When me and Lemmy played snooker

“what do you play, snooker or pool?”


“The first time I met Lemmy was way before hashtags, he was way more cool then..” – Jimmy Hendrix

“The first time I met Lemmy I couldn’t stop looking at his mole.” – Adrian Mole (aged 20)



I actually did meet Lemmy, it was back in the 80’s. What happened is between me and him. I never even told my mum, or any of my mates.



Sadly we can’t afford to prove this. Have a nice evening.