Theresa May is about to change her name to Theresa Will following revelations that europeans are convinced that she may not actually do anything. “All we keep hearing is Theresa May this, and Theresa May that” said one senior diplomat who seemed really annoyed at her reluctance to commit. “It’s not good enough, there is no time for indecision anymore and if she doesn’t make up her mind soon then she can fuck off and start a band with that other twat Bryan May.”
It’s not the first time a female prime minister has had a counter productive name however, Margaret Thatcher was called all sorts of things before history settled with Margaret.
“She needs to do a Gary Glitter and just get on with it” said a cleaner for a professional baby naming company in London. “Something strong and assertive, yet humble and honest would be best, Bitchcunt Pissface would be nice, though it’s a bit difficult to spell” she added whilst scrubbing skids of the side of the toilet bowl for £7 per hour.
Theresa May not be available for comment said No 10.